3 months ago I went to Vipassana - a 10 day silent meditation retreat.
I sat in silence for 10.5 hours every day.
I suffered severe pain in my body (more on that another time).
I noticed my thoughts as all my SHIT came up.
I surrendered into the present sensations of my body.
I felt an ease, a peace, a sense of complete calm.
I was aware, clear, conscious, connected, present, alive, grounded and awake.
OH MY GOD. I WANT THIS FEELING FOREVER.
I asked myself, “what causes me to be the opposite of these feelings?”
Unaware, clogged, unconscious, disconnected, lala land, dead, spacey, and sleeping.
Poisonous, toxic, spirit sucking, evil filled alcohol.
To be my highest self, to feel connected to my life force, to my purpose, my truth, my spirit, my soul, my essence… alcohol could not be in the picture.
I decided my drinking days were done. Totally. Completely. Nada. Zilch. Not even a sip. Nothing.
Today, I celebrate my commitment, my success, & my achievement of no alcohol for 3 months.
And NO, I am not going to celebrate with champagne! HAH! I’m celebrating by sharing my transformation with you. I hope that by sharing my story, you might resonate, feel the desire to make a change in your life, and commit to your health. That would be the best gift I could ever receive.
(Plus, it would be so awesome to have more friends who I can drink tea with on Friday nights!)
I can honestly say that I have NEVER felt better in my entire life. This was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Here are a few things I’ve noticed that have changed…
1. My energy is sharp
2. I’m never tired
3. I wake up feeling ALIVE! Never hungover
4. I lost weight!! EVERYWHERE.
5. My stomach isn’t bloated
6. My body is the strongest it’s ever been and keeps improving (when I drank, I would lose my muscles every weekend and try to regain them during the week only to lose them again… what a vicious cycle)
7. My acne has cleared! Halleluiah! The red blotches on my face are gone and my skin GLOWS
8. My eyes are whiter (5 people have told me this!!)
9. My mind is clear. I can think and see clearer. Everything makes sense
10. I notice my negative thought/behavior patterns quicker and easier… and I consciously clear them
11. I stopped making bad decisions – no late-night regrets, no dumb shit, no binge eating
12. My intuition has sky rocketed. Omg I feel like I’ve gained psychic abilities or something guys!!
13. Magic, miracles & wild synchronicities happen ALL day EVERY day
14. I manifested my dreams. Over and over again.
15. I receive divine guidance & inspiration CONSTANTLY.
16. I AM LIVING MY BEST LIFE AND FEEL FUCKING AMAZING!!
Well… there ya have it folks. The magic of sobriety.
Oh and did I mention I stopped eating sugar & gluten also? Yeah. That too. EPIC. I realized sugar clogged my pineal gland – linked to the third eye (intuition), and gluten made me severely bloated & slooow. NOW I AM CLEAR & CLEAN. Healthy gut, healthy mind, healthy body, healthy spirit, healthy life.
(Friendly PSA, if you didn’t know, sugar is the devil. I’ll probably right another blog dedicated to that…)
Now you know how I got here and how I feel now… let’s go backwards in time to my… tequila days…
I was the definition of a party girl.
I was the girl who wanted to go out every night.
I was the girl who loved tequila shots.
I was the girl who made everyone else take shots.
I was the girl who had one too many shots.
I was the girl who would sometimes blackout.
I was the girl who regretted the next morning.
I was the girl who kept saying, “I will never drink again” and goes out the next night
I was the girl who would walk into a party and feel at home
I was the girl who loved anything and everything about alcohol.
I was that girl.
Now, I am not that girl.
I am the girl that wants to stay in every night.
I am the girl that loves a warm turmeric tea latte.
I am the girl that wants everyone to try my tea.
I am the girl that drinks too much tea I pee all the time.
I am the girl that sometimes gets spot on intuitive insights.
I am the girl that wakes up energized, happy & grateful every morning.
I am the girl who says, “I will never drink again” and smiles with integrity.
I am the girl who walks into a yoga studio and feels at home.
I am the girl who loves anything and everything about yoga & veggies.
I am this girl.
And I love this girl.
Like many, I started drinking in high school and continued all through college. Partying 3 times a week, using fake ID’s, dancing my ass off, having one-night stands, blacking out, throwing up. I had a BLAST. I lived it up. I drank it down.
After college, I traveled across the country with boyfriend, then moved back home to live with my parents where I started my first “real person” job in corporate advertising. The alcohol continued. But this time a little classier. Happy hours with coworkers, bottomless mimosas at brunch, fancy drinks at dinner, and weekend bar hopping in DC.
The alcohol consumption became less and the hangovers became worse. WHAT?! WHY?!
I started practicing yoga 3-5 times a week and became super in tune with my body. I could feel everything deeper. I could feel the negative effects the alcohol was having on my body. At the same time, I could feel the positive effects yoga was having.
When I left corporate & America to live in a van in New Zealand, the drinking became less and less. Especially living at a yoga retreat center, having hardly any money, and gut- health problems.
I started to become intensely more aware of my thoughts, patterns & feelings. I began questioning why I drank….
I drank for LOTS of reasons.
To relax after work.
To ease the stressful day.
To calm my mind.
To let loose.
To have fun.
To dance wild.
To feel confident.
To make new friends
To ‘free’ my spirit.
I drank for other reasons I might not have been aware of.
To numb the hard feelings.
To cover up my pain.
To hide my fears.
To quiet my negative thoughts.
To not feel.
As I write those words, tears fill my eyes… I was so unaware why I resorted to drinking until I stopped.
I am not alone here. I know that for a fact.
Do you resonate with this?
Why do you grab that drink after work?
Why do you need to drink before you go out?
Why do you need to drink while you’re out?
Why do you drink when you’re sad?
Why do you drink when you’re happy?
Why do you drink at all?
These are just questions to think about. To become aware of your intentions. Your motivations. Your reasons.
What do you really care about?
How do you want to feel? In your body? Mind? Spirit? Life?
Who do you want to be?
What do you want to create?
What are you committed to?
What are you going to do about it?
If you’re anything like me, you intuitively know that alcohol does not serve you on your spiritual path.
Here I am, holding out my hand, with an open heart, saying, “Your health matters. Your body matters. Your mind matters. Your spirit matters. You matter.”
I challenge you. Look within yourself. Deep within.
Maybe that means sitting in meditation for an hour. Or journaling about your relationship to alcohol. Or going on a 10-day silent meditation retreat.
Or maybe it means taking a mindful moment before you reach for that drink and ask yourself, “What is my reason?”
The more questions you ask, the more clarity & guidance you will receive.
Honor & love yourself.
Your spirit is waiting to be fully awakened.
Join me… I have enough turmeric tea for everyone ;)
All my love,